Working in Bars

For all of you women out there who work in bars, you are a tolerant and upstanding human being. You know were the money is, you know what you have to do, you know how hard you have to frickin work... and you do it. Bars are like no other work environment out there. I worked as a waitress for 6 years, and some of the places I have worked have been restaurant bars ( a bit more civilized). I had one quick stint as a cocktail waitress and hated it. I had to do food, because I couldn't just smile and talk with guys hitting on me allll night, shift after shift. Thats all it is, deflecting these comments and insinuations. And at least with food there is some form of manners involved. Well for the past year or two, I work in bars and clubs now doing liquor promotions a couple times a month. Cute little outfits, free stuff to hand out, little t-shirts to give away, and a pretty little smile. God. 4 classes today, straight to the bar, and home again to do hella school work. Im sure Im a great actress after tonight. I just got back from one right now. Mind you its Cinco de Mayo, and I was promoting CaboWabo tequila. It was rowdy, and guys dont give an F when you walk into the place all decked out in heels, and full make-up, they just look at you. And flag you down. THey know its my job to just stand around and talk. And they love to take advantage of it. Its the gig, I understand, but when you are not in the mood, its just SO hard. Anyway, girls who work in bars.... they work the hardest. They are busting their ass, and all people want from them is to stare at them, chit chat endlessly and order stuff from them. And they have to clean. And clean more. And then clean again. And let me tell you, this food/drink service industry, is way harder than this office sitting shenanigans. I have been working in a corporate office now for about 3 weeks, for the first time in my life. I get out of there after 8 hours, and jeeeesus. Its like a spa day. I sit. I use my brain in a quiet office, get a tea, think about stuff, and then type some more stuff and then go to a nice lunch in the bomb cafeteria. Then a little more thinking/writing typing. Its so easy! Let's go to the gym! I have have never wanted to go to the gym after work before. Im usually brain dead and exhausted ( I was a full-time student and waitress 4 days a week, in suuuuuuch busy restaurants.) Now, I get off work, and I'm feeling pretty nice, it sure is different. Im so burnt out working service industry. Anyone need a promo gig? Im totally gonna quit.

Al Pastor

If I was a writer who wrote, who didn't mix al pastor super nachos and box wine till the nastiest hangover imaginable makes you swear to never ever throw a "Box Wine Party"again, I swear I would have the capacity to write incisive, subversive articles like this one from SFGate.com: 10 ways to blow your tax return. Im not lying but I like smart things. But when it comes to writing them down or thinking them through, I just want to reference people who say it better than I do. I mean if you want, I can muster a rant about how gas at record prices and our super-duper tax return is a great way take money from our government's coffers (essentially our coffers...wait, whats a coffer again?) and put in it the hands of the oil barons that run our country. But I wont. I have an hour to decide which knock-off Marc Jacobs bag Im going ot make my boyfriend bring me back from his trip to China. I really heart Chinese people by the way. But I'll save that for another day.

Welcome to the Gilded Age

Welcome Folks! Presented thus forth is a social commentary based loosely on an old expression first coined by Shakespeare, and later implemented by Mark Twain. Now, don't get any funny ideas in your head. Referencing these guys is purely a consequence of trying to find a name for the glorious ways in which we enjoy life. We will be discussing everything from NASCAR (hahahhahahaahaaaaaaa) to plastic surgery to that genius who just tried to cash a check for $360 billion.